| Dream Log |
[Sep. 15th, 2009|11:11 pm] |
I had a dream a few nights ago that I met Joe Rogan on a street corner in Atlanta. He asked me if I would like to be on an episode of Fear Factor, to which I agreed, despite the fact that he was wearing filthy, tattered clothing, hadn't shaved in weeks, and smelled horrible. He told me I would be doing an obstacle course around town, and ushered me towards a rusty 70s model ford with a broken door and shattered windshield. Before I got into the car, he said he needed to see my ID, so I pulled out my wallet. He said we needed to hurry up with this, so he took my wallet, and said he would find my ID, but I should just go ahead and start driving. I accepted this plan, with some apprehension. When I got into the car, there was a distinct smell of old beer and cigars, and there were several empty scotch bottles in the passenger floor. When I looked in the rear view mirror, I saw Joe Rogan running off with my wallet.
Best dream I've ever had I think. |
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| iphonez |
[Aug. 10th, 2009|05:49 pm] |
Do not ever try to update your iphone software while on the phone. It wipes out your data. All of it. Phone numbers, apps, sms, everything.
When I called Apple for support, the Apple Genius tech support nerd faggot shithead basically tacitly told me that I was a fucking idiot and I shouldn't have done that. Then I asked him why he had an "Eat Shit, I'm better than you attitude," and he told me "well you wouldn't think that you could drive your car around while a mechanic worked on it," so I told him that his analogy was shitty and that I shouldn't be expected to intuitively know that. He disagreed.
That's what happens when you call apple. I guess they know that I'm not gonna switch to a different phone because it's the best, but I could do without that shithead customer service.
Steve Jobs, you're still on my list you cunt. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 20th, 2009|06:58 pm] |
Whenever you go out to eat with a large group of people, there will always be one guy who complains about the waiter/waitress, and gives them a hard time about every little thing they do wrong, or things that are simply not quite up to their standards of perfection. And if they forget to not put onions in their house salad, they don't leave a tip, or leave considerably less. Most of us normal people call these people assholes.
But consider this. Not tipping bad service is actually a good deed. We should be congratulating these people on doing their due-diligence to society. Tipping is obviously an incentive system to reinforce good performance, but what it does better is provide a disincentive to do a shitty job. If you tip a waiter or waitress despite the fact that they did a poor job, then you are contributing to a feedback loop of poor service for future customers.
So the next time you see someone undertipping because of a warm beer or a cold soup, you should actually be thanking them, not calling them an asshole under your breath. |
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| GaGa |
[Apr. 24th, 2009|08:45 pm] |
Dear GaGa,
Your hit song, Just Dance, although extremely catchy, is irresponsible.
In the first verse of the song, you ask "Where are my keys; I lost my phone [...] It'll be alright, just dance..."
I feel this is a very irresponsible statement. Losing your keys, particularly if you are out at a nightclub, is not something to take lightly. There is a high probability that your vehicle may be stolen, and likely insurance, unless comprehensive, will not cover the cost of theft. Likely, you will end up paying impound fees when your car is found, scrapped for parts by the side of the road.
Car theft is estimated to have cost 7.6 billion dollars last year in damages. I'm having trouble figuring out how "just dancing" will solve this problem.
Further, although less damaging financially, losing a cell phone can present a high cost to you in the form of lost data. Contact information, pictures, calendar information, etc. Also, cell phones, albeit pale in comparison to a vehicle, are rather expensive these days. If you didn't opt for the insurance coverage on your phone, you could be looking at paying anywhere from $30 to $600 in replacement cost. And even if you had the insurance, the deductible is often high, ranging from $50 to $100.
Instead of "just dancing," I suggest the appropriate action would be to immediately contact the bartenders, staff, or managers of the club, informing them that you have lost your keys and cell phone, and to be on the look out for these items.
The next step would be to make sure your car is still in the parking lot. If the club is unable to find the keys after a reasonable amount of time, I would suggest calling a locksmith to make a new key for you, or even hiring a wrecker to tow your car home.
A 200 dollar towing or locksmith fee is small in comparison to the cost of purchasing a replacement vehicle and cell phone.
Until you can provide some empirical evidence to suggest that "just dancing" would help your situation, I have to respectfully remain skeptical and disagree.
Sincerely,
Kevin Quinn
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 15th, 2009|08:56 pm] |
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IS JIM STEWART MAD AT KRAMER CUZ HE CALLED ALL THEM PEOPLE NIGGERS? |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 27th, 2009|01:07 am] |
Are there any self-proclaimed Photoshop experts out there?
I need a graphic made and it has to be done well. I have an ms paint mock-up already. I will pay you of course. |
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| IBM |
[Jan. 13th, 2009|10:20 pm] |
IBM announces MRI with 100,000,000 times better resolution
San Jose (CA) - In collaboration with the Center for Probing the Nanoscale at Stanford University, today IBM announced a magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scanner with 100 million times better resolution than convention MRIs - down to nanometer scales. The new device operates on samples, not large scale bodies. However, with such high resolution it has basically become a 3D replacement for the scanning tunneling electron microscope able to see proteins and viruses at scales down to 4nm...
Read more.. |
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| My review of Beyonce's new song Put A Ring On It |
[Dec. 11th, 2008|05:22 pm] |
Very rare it is in life that you witness a piece of artwork so profound that it transcends the very relationship of a human being to art and becomes something bigger, something special. A poignancy of truly world shattering caliber as such, should be cherished and respected, feared and admired, adored, and held sacred.
One such work is the new hit song from Beyonce, entitled Put A Ring On It. From the first nanoseconds of this glorious recording, the listener is immediately overwhelmed with what can only be described as a brilliantly composed barrage of atonal nothingness that is subsequently drilled into your eardrums for a solid 3 minutes and 20 seconds.
The genius of this aria lies in its ability to bulldoze the listener into a deep and unforgiving existential crisis of immutable consequences. For me this crisis embodied itself in the form of a weeks long schizophrenic episode of delusion in which I was convinced that an intergalactic species of aliens was tormenting me in some sort of twisted subjective reality tolerance experiment. One in which Beyonce's new song was the pinnacle of their ante-upping in an attempt to wake me up from what must surely be a mask of false reality. How, I pondered, could someone so talentless and devoid of imagination have won countless awards and received praise from millions of adoring fans worldwide? Such is the effect of this masterpiece of American music.
Oh how I yearn for just one more second of this track, but Oh how humble and undeserving I must be to have been given time and space on this Earth to have been blessed with 200 seconds of shimmering brilliance. God Bless You Beyonce. |
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| Update |
[Dec. 8th, 2008|07:17 pm] |
I want to apologize to all of you.
I'm not wrong often, but when I am I admit it.
Last night, I decided to change the name of pizza to "food triangles." I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. There's no reason to change the name of pizza. It's already a well established and recognizable name. Businesses would have to change their marquees and packaging, etc. It's really just an all around bad idea. Not to mention the name "food triangles" is not a great name at all. It's just dumb.
Sorry guys, I really dropped the ball on this one. I hope we can all just move on from this and not dwell, but I understand if you're a little upset with me. |
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| Make a Note |
[Dec. 7th, 2008|10:47 pm] |
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Hey guys I renamed "pizza." It's now called food triangles. |
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| gold |
[Nov. 14th, 2008|03:54 pm] |
Why do people still have an obsession with gold?
We live in a world of "fiat currency." Paper money is no longer backed by gold. It's value is determined in exactly the same way that any product, object, unit of energy, or anything you can imagine is valued. What the open market will pay for it.
Gold is pretty. Dentists use it for fillings. It is a great semiconductor for electronics. That's about it.
If you fear the complete meltdown of the U.S. economy and you are buying real, physical gold, you would be better off buying real physical gasoline and storing it under your house. I would suspect that if there was utter collapse of the U.S. Economy, gold would still just be gold. It would not revert back to some rudimentary form of currency. If anything, gasoline, coal and other forms of energy would become monetary units, and energy companies would become the new banks and release bank notes that represent energy units. Something like that.
And if you just think we are headed for a depression, not a complete meltdown, then why would you think buying real gold, or investing in "paper-gold" would be an effective safe haven? It is just a commodity. Commodities are subject to yields, there is no "real value."
Is there something I'm failing to understand, or are the masses just panicky and retarded? |
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| two new friends |
[Nov. 9th, 2008|10:08 pm] |
I found a kitten at a plant nursery in the rose bushes. I don't have any pictures right now. He looks like this:
His name is officially Oliver, but I've been calling him bocceball, boccebones, and gerblet.
I also bought a motorcycle. I don't have a picture but it looks exactly like this, except more rust and less chrome.
bought it for almost nothing, took it to my friend's shop, cleaned out the carburetors drained the gas, added new gas, started right up.
I'm very happy with my two new friends. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 31st, 2008|12:17 pm] |
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For Halloween I'm going to be a Mortgage-backed Collateralized Debt Obligation |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 28th, 2008|05:39 am] |
A bartender punched me in the chest tonight, twice. Why?
1) Why? (I've never even talked to him before, and I'm sure I didn't fuck his girlfriend/wife)
2) Why punch me in the chest?
I am taking out some of my savings and getting the fuck out of this country for awhile |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 15th, 2008|12:20 am] |
The screen on my phone is broken. This means I can't screen calls, or view text messages.
Who has been sending me text messages and what did you say? |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 3rd, 2008|01:28 am] |
My newest piece is entitled, Vegetable Dick
It will be on display at the Metropolitan Museum from June 8th through June 20th. I will be there on the 19th and 20th for a meet and greet/autograph signing.
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| My letter to the NBA |
[May. 23rd, 2008|11:18 pm] |
Dear NBA,
I would like to request that the overhead view be shown more often. I seldom see this camera angle, but when I do, I enjoy it, and I believe there are others who feel this way.
I am hoping I'm not the only person who feels this way. Perhaps you should administer a poll of NBA fans to see whether its something that we would enjoy.
Thanks for your consideration.
Sincerely,
Kevin Quinn
ps - I made 17 free throws in a row one time can i play in the nba? I don't care what team. Except the Jazz I refuse to play for the jazz. just kidding i'll play for utah jazz.
KEEP YOUR FINGERS CROSSED GUYS !!! |
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